Ms. Diana Wynne Jones gave a world renowned craftsman her precious jewels,
a damond, a lapis lazulli and a ruby, together with gold, silver, pearl and natural stones
and asked him to make a necklace that charms.
He started morphing them into the shapes of his dream, not hers, not ours.
Ruby's his favourite gem. It's fire and blood, war and tears.
What's the good of diamond, or lapis lazulli.
So he chipped diamond into thousand pieces and studded them around the ruby.
and Lapis lazulli looked just lovely square or round.
The chain wasn't a concern.
String the pearls and make a loop.
The gold n silver is no use.
Wide eyed critics waited with abaited breath, watching the curtain rise and the star slowly looming. Inside the glass was the promised necklace of the world, with the undisputable name Tiffany. Ooops i'm sorry i think it's Ghibli.
Silence.
One brave soul raised a finger.
' i think the lace is broken.'
Nervous giggles,
but the pearls were strewn.
The host felt the gound shake but stomped hard so it stayed. 'It's just a small mistake'.
Tiny! Trivious!
So we, got up from our seats and helped to string the broken chain.
But the pearls all looked the same.
white, white, white, white, white
and plain
'guess it doesn't matter' a forgiving voice says
'but where's lapis lazulli?'
'Can't you see it's hidden behind the ruby?'
embarassed, he says 'great geat...'
So the bidding started. Bids came in flushes, one wave after another.
and the jewellers left with contentment
and WE,
bewilderment
Miyazaki-san, what have u done?
_________________________________
It's hard to imagine there could be a deeper depression when u reassure yourself you've already cautiously descended to the absolute bottom of an abyss. Lying prostrate on the ground whatever flies past would be above me. Even if it's just an old fly that hovers one inch above my face. and i was dead WRONG!
2 hour movie and he failed to tell anything!! Well, I shouldn't be so harsh. The only message he did tell is 'anti-war'. ' Let's end this stupid war right now' Sulimen says.
That must be the line that won the standing ovation when it was shown in Vienna film fest.
anti war, calling out to the whole world.
but i'm sorry i thought i was watching 'Howl's moving castle'?? Is that a typo or am I too old to read? That i'm suprised i stumbled upon 'no war please' documentary.
Howling!!
Miyazaki said 'I wanted to make my own film. In the end even my team couldn't understand where I'm heading. '
Exactly! Out of nowhere, no foreshadowing, no nothing, Howl's in love Sophie. Before that, Sophie's sophie. Howl's howl. They dun care abt each other. They come back home at different hours not knowing what the other is doing. Like typical japanese men n their wives.
and when u see those blobs of greyish floating mass appearing on screen, making sticky revolting sound. you say 'NOT AGAIN PLEASE'. once is ORIGINAL. twice is REMINISCENT. three times is 'Are you nuts? Has your imagination run dry?'. First used in Princess Mononke depicting that cursed god. Second time in Spirtied away on the ghost called 'no face' and endless no. of other ghosts so to speak. and here again on the rubber man, the police, the back alley ghosts!!
I don't care if i dump in any spoilers. coz there're NO spoilers! with or without them the movie's still the same.
and what happened to the background music. The scene in the trailer where Howl sped dwon the stairs pulling on his hair ends obviously screaming for no reason like a spoilt baby! absolutely no background music!! 30 seconds silence. and Kitamura's voice sounded a bit funny.
so they did read the novel. When Howl's upset, he deliberately covers himself up in green slime. So they made him a green slimy. And why the hell would Sophie cry just because he slimed??? She's supposed to be outrageous coz Howl's acting like a baby!! And too little description on Howl's vanity! He's suppposed to date pretty girls, spend ages in bathroom, and extremely picky about glooming! Where's all that important stuff that shapes a character?
Alrite, let's just discard everything and say, Howl's moving castle has nothing to do with the novel. just borrowed the title. If i were the director, i would cut off 1/3 of the movie and replace them with solid stories.
Wasted scene no. 1
Howl frying eggs n bacon. He fried 6 eggs. Camera zoomed in on 4, every one of them, from the craking sound of the shell to the sizzling heat. Yes, we're charmed he could cook!! my ass, why do you have to show 4 instead of 2.
Wasted scene no. 2
Walking. To walk is to change locations. Disney would show separate camera shots, a flash that links up two places, but Ghibli, they do a great job on 'introductory course to walking'. ' sigh, back hurts, take a seat, 4 steps forward, 2 more steps, 1 step back, a break, continue with the journey, wind blows, stops, looks back, keep moving.'
my dear dear dear god.
N MANY MANY MANY MANY MORE wasted scenes. i'm too tired to list
and stories that r essential but aren't there!
- that Howl loves spiders coz he's just like them. tirelessly spinning a web. and a small disaster, a gust of wind, brush of a broom, easily breaks it. but he just starts all over again.
- that Howl's smart n tricky. He goes out dating girls everyday but in truth he's deep shit in an investigation on witch of the waste
-that Howl's a slithere outer. He's a coward. He avoids troubles. He runs away from them. You can't just make Howl lying on his bed half dead, mumbling ' I'm a coward'. That's not the way a story's told!! Actions man!! Depiction!! Like you can't just say 'I'm a liar' so tt everybody's satisfied you're a liar and that's the end of the story. It's all so withering n dry!
-Sophie, poor poor Sophie. You cry when you're supposed to throw tantrums. You display your emotions so openly while you're supposed to be jealous, bitter n silent. i'm just soooo speechless.
sighs, so the main characters are all wasted. but suprisingly the side dishes are amazingly entertaining.
calcifer 'i am calci -fer'. [flame spurts out laterally with the uttering of 'fer']
Michael cutie boy
The dog
The scarecrow
what the movie's succeeded is...
that Howl's handsome , althou not so interesting
that his seiyu is Kitamura, althou not doing perfect job
that it's about peace n love, althou told a little matter of factly
that the colours are still brilliant, althou it has nothing to do with Miyazaki
that Howl turning into giant bird is interesting, althou we've seen that in Spirited Away
that music by joe hisaishi never fails, althou most of them aren't used in the right places
that the movie still sells high on the logo 'Miyazaki & Ghibli', althou the movie is totally not descriptive
insert fanart one from unknown source
[Howl & Michael]
ps. in the original novel, Michael[howl's student] is a teen boy, and miyazaki dawfed him into a baby...
Sighs, there's always something wrong with the story telling. Gives me the unscratched itch. Is miyazaki too old to do it? Well, i'm quite certain this movie won't win the Oscar, althou it mihgt get some special mention in 3D techniques, for the intricate model of the castle. Possible fight among 'the Inredibles'[Pixar], Steamboy, Innocence ghost in the shell[Mamoru Oshii].
I only wish their next piece of work will improve on story telling. Miyazaki's done a good argumentative essay this time. But we want a story.
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